How to: Dealing with Failure

I'm sure every one of us has our ups and our downs, however always seem to remember/think more about the negatives. We are such strange beings... with sometimes a really negative mind-set, which is quite saddening because we have so much in our lives we can do and too many of up spend it over sadness. I've just been through exam time and am still going through multiple big assessments so I'm quite familiar with the feeling. I don't know if I have a psychological problem but, I'm so annoyingly sentimental. I get bummed over things I don't care about simply because I feel like I failed and being an Asian at an academic/competitive school with 99% of it being Asian, failure isn't even meant to be in my vocabulary.

The mind set in our school is horrible because we all want to succeed and everyone just starts to talk any one who "fails" (i.e. does really great but at as good as the person) down. Honestly, I hate it at our school because I've forgotten what it's like not to worry so much over such tiny things and actually have fun for a day. We were selecting subjects for next year and when I told this girl that I wasn't taking Physics, she laughed at me and said I'm never going to be a doctor (in the most serious Asian way ever). Sometimes my school just makes me feel like I do nothing right so for anyone out there feeling the same, here are some ways to deal with failure [how hypocritical of me as I don't actually remember half of these]:



1. You're only human.
If you look into the mirror you'll realize you're actually a human (flesh, bones, eyes, nose - the whole lot) and guess what? Humans make mistakes. As hard as that is to accept, we must all do it. No one in this world in perfect, not even that one person who gets 100% in all their tests or the person who doesn't try but is so good at life. Everyone has their weakness and every one has their successes. Everyone had their bad days as well as good. So next time you get a bit teary remember that no one is perfect but that's what makes you you.

2. You have to fail in order to succeed.
Without failure, you'll never know the taste of success so when you actually do really well you'll forget about it and want more. If you never fail, you won't know what it's like to succeed because you'll always feel like you should be doing better. Failure is a stepping stone to triumph, so when you've done bad in something you've tried hard at know that you are on your way to something exceptional.

3. Use it as a lesson.
If you don't work hard then that's your first problem because without hard work and dedication there's really no point in doing what you do. But to all the diligent people (which I'm sure is all of you), if you fail don't criticize yourself instead use it as a lesson to learn from. By learning from it, you'll be sure not to make the same mistakes and this will move you forward - forward to success.

4. You are good enough.
Yes you may've made a stupid mistake but that's no reason to make yourself feel as if you're the most stupidest person on the planet. You might've gone on a diet which hasn't work at all, but that's no reason to believe that you're "fat" or will never be good enough because guess what? You are amazing and whoever says different should reassess themselves. Just because you aren't perfect, doesn't mean you're not good enough to accomplish your goals. If you dedicate yourself, you will get there and you will be better than 'good enough'.

5. Release the bad energy.
When you feel upset about how horrible something is or is going, tell someone you trust and won't judge you (for me it's my parents because they listen to my endless days of nagging). When you talk about it, it's like releasing all the bad energy and can be quite calming. If you want, you can add the occasional tear or burst of sadness because you know what? Crying is good for you; let out all the worries and troubles so that after you'll be prepared to go out into the world and prove your doubts wrong.

I really hope these 5 steps help, as they work quite well for me! If you have anything you want to add, make sure you share them in the comments because a life with less misery is a happier life.

PRO-TIPS:

• Don't go to food: Food won't help you and sometimes may just make you feel worse.
• Smile & Laugh: watch a feel good movie or spend hours on YouTube, so long as you feel better after
• Exercise: This is probably horrible and annoying but exercise releasing happy hormones and makes you feel like you are actually worth caring about (WHICH YOU ARE).
• Focus on the positive: always, always, always! If you were in a car crash, be thankful to be alive!

Until Next Time,

Joyce

"I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying."
- Michael Jordan 

“Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“You can have anything you want so long as you realise that you can't have everything you want.”
― Orna Ross, Inspiration Meditation: Igniting Insights & Ideas. 

“One of the key things is learning which bits of life you don't need to take seriously. Usually far more than you expect.”
― Penny Grubb