Simple Pleasures: "If this isn't nice, I don't know what is."

In attempt to level up my life,  I watched Ali Abdaal's 15 lessons of 2019 and unexpectedly stumbled upon a small, yet profound piece of wisdom. Like myself, I am sure you've had my ear talked off about gratitude - it's the latest self-care trend, alongside meditation, productivity and yoga - however his approach to the whole concept resonated strongly with me. Less daunting, relatively straightforward and summarised simply:

“And I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.”― Kurt Vonnegut Jr

The idea may pale in comparison to diligently writing down three daily gratitudes in a sophisticated looking journal as you sip on your morning coffee, but it has strangely worked out better for me. Trust me, as a sucker for journals, I have tried plenty a time to keep one. I wanted with all my heart to be one of those people who preached about the life-changing effects of this practice, but my lack of entries clearly stood in the way of manifesting said benefits. As such, the simplicity of conjuring a phrase seemed much more attractive and achievable enough... spoiler alert: it was!

Some simple pleasures in the past few days:

• Laughing hysterically with friends while watching Twilight and Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging
• Looking into the garden with the sun soaking through the windows while I breathe in the steam of my fresh coffee (!!! warms up the hands and smells great too !!!)
• Belting out Stuck with U by Beibs and Ariana on the way to get coffee with my sister
• Calling friends and having a good rant about every aspect of post-graduate life

Missing: Accountability and Discipline

Two things I desperately need.

It has been a full month since my exams have ended and 2 weeks since my grades confirmed that I have officially finished my degree, yet I sit here with nothing to show for the new found free time (as clearly demonstrated by the lack of posting). I understand that such a thought is a tad dramatic and slightly harsh but, as someone who is so use to grinding, I can't help but feel disappointed. There's a part of me that believes I'm falling behind... I don't even know what it is I'm falling behind on, but all the YouTube videos proposing that they have the top 10 tips on how to study for 12 hours a day, building systems and learning new languages suggests that there's something and that 15 minute video is going to do the trick!

Alas, it does not, especially when I don't even know what I'm meant to be doing. During a call with a friend, I lamented that I felt as if my life no longer had purpose, that my days were now filled with mindless dawdling and scrolling. It had occurred to me that my life was essentially dictated by the educational institutions that I had been raised in and surrounded by since I was 5. Surprisingly, my friend concurred with this bleak point of view. We were both products of our environments and, more often than not, did not really feel the need to explore the world outside of our bubble. I had no qualms about this given - I still had enough freedom to have a somewhat interesting upbringing and adolescence - but now things are changing. What is my purpose?

A Small Note on Consistency

Apparently if I want to achieve something, I need to do it often enough that it becomes a habit. Today I was about to go to sleep without writing up anything... and it's only Day 1. Hear me out though! I'm so exhausted, and my eyes are dreary - both of which I attribute to the hours of lecture content that I was mindlessly drudging through. Nonetheless, I am here and I want to share a small note on consistency.

Thinking back to all the achievements I have accomplished in the past however many years, I realised that it all comes down to one thing - constantly moving towards the goal. Every decision I made (or at least the somewhat relevant ones) where driven by where I wanted to end up or what type of person I wanted to be. Whether it's with grades, skin care, health, I was trying to make sure that I did my best to keep at it. And the key word here is really constantly (aka consistently). It wasn't so much how many productive hours I put into learning my notes in one day, or how hard I could work out for one hour, but more so the importance or building fail-safe, productive habits that I did daily.

I would rather exercise for 10 minutes a day than exercise for an hour twice a week (that's just me, but it's really the habit and routine of it that keeps me in check and gives me the endorphins I need). It's the same with preparing for an interview, or studying. I know that if I'm not constantly refreshing my brain, it becomes so difficult to pick up again.

Nonetheless, I am human and I'm still learning. I haven't got this habit thing down at all, but I try and I have experienced the value of building this mindset and system. First year me was very productive and disciplined, and now here I am wasting away. Anyway, this is my small note and today's learning. This is also a reflection of a lack of engagement and planning, but I'm here, I showed up! That's what counts, right?

Until tomorrow,
Joyce

Much Needed Update

It's 2020 and the year has already trailed off-course. That's assuming we have any sort of control of the direction in our lives. Amongst the flurry of anxiety, panic and fear, all our classes have now been moved online so I decided flying back home to save on rent was a good idea. Day 2 and this claim is still to be confirmed. Home is exactly as expected - family arguments, boredom, a lot of snacking, an expectation of weight gain and quiet. I have to admit, it is nice to be back and not worry about the trivial responsibilities of adult life, but I am somewhat concerned about having to be locked up in the master room for 2 weeks. My self-isolation has just begun and my mind in spinning. Mind you, I do attribute a lot of this to my jet lag. Surprisingly I have discovered that I'm fine with red-eye flights, but it's these late afternoon trips that mess me up. Okay sure, 3 hours apart is not bad in comparison to other timezones, but let's be real! It's such an awkward difference, you feel like it should be easy enough but then it's also a noticeable difference. Anyway, that has really put me in a bit of a funk.

Now that all my courses are P/F and I no longer need to job search (YAY!), I've decided I actually need to build up my hobbies. I randomly came back to this blog the other day and, after reading my old posts, realised how much I enjoyed writing. Whether it was simply jotting down my thoughts, or providing some sort of opinion, it was fun. It also helped improve my English, a skill which has drastically deteriorated since uni has started. So, in line with this new commitment, I'm going to be writing a post daily. A bit ambitious but I think it'll be good for the soul. Most of this will be for future Joyce to look back on and laugh at. Topics include: qualities I have gained and skills I have learned, books and music, "how-to"s... really there's a lot I can write about, I think the hardest part is just getting it down. Hence the need for me to set some sort of goal. 

This is to you future Joyce! Sit tight, more word dumps to come.

Until next time, 

Joyce

Free Time

I wake up and check my phone. It’s 7:30am. My room is dark despite my lack of curtains and the sky looks like it’s about to cry. Same. I’m about to cry because I’m freezing cold, just like I was yesterday and the day before, and the day before that… the cold never ends! Nonetheless, I wake up with a sense of calm knowing that no pressing responsibility awaits for me as soon as my eyes open. There is no university forcing me to sit down for strenuous hours of homework, no need to hike my campus and most importantly, no need to cook! It is the holidays and I’m ever so grateful to be back home. However, there have been numerous instances where I catch myself wasting time, most frequently while watching excessive amounts of Gilmore Girls. I really do enjoy following the lives of Lorelai and Rory, but I can’t help but think about how my brain is literally turning into mush.

The funny thing about ‘wasting time’ is that it feels so good when you’re doing it, but then afterwards you’re left haunted by the question “where did my day go?” Don’t ask me, I have no idea either. For one, it leaves me feeling incredibly empty (lmao if that’s an internal issue).

So recently I’ve been trying to find more productive ways of spend my break, and I’m going to share some tips with you.

INDONESIA // TRAVEL

Hohoho, I’ve done enough holidaying for a year and yet there's still more to come. 

This was one of my more spontaneous trips. Okay, 2 weeks in advance isn’t that crazy, but when the news was broken to me, I fell into a state of panic. My chemistry test was on the first day back to school and I was arriving home the night before. Call me a goody-two-shoes, but I completely refused to go. The worth of a good score exceeds that of a free holiday (tickets completely paid for by my grand uncle - real MVP) to meet fam and live in luxury for 2 weeks. No! I was not having it. I could not afford to fail school. But against my own free will, my dad decided to punish my overbearing selfishness and drag me to Indonesia. First was Bali, of course. Okay, to be quite frank travelling with family can sometimes be the worst because there are SO many conflicting interests. Seriously dad, I’m not built to refrain from drinking fresh juice and enjoy 100USD seafood that taste like cardboard. Sadly, that pretty much sums up the whole of Bali. No nice drinks and eating expensive tourist food (some of it was okay, but it was pretty much all the same in all the tourist areas). I mean, I had my first j.co donuts so that made up for it. Actually I had about 10 and slept like a baby every night. YIS! Also, I manage to scatter some study throughout my entire stay (booyah)

HAWEEWEE // TRAVEL

I FINALLY edited the photos I had taken during my trip to Hawaii and Indonesia! I am quite honestly a champion. I've probably never felt so accomplished.
I remember at the beginning of this year, I was reminding you guys that I was still alive and enjoying the views of those rugged landscapes... it seems that nothing has really changed (except rugged landscapes have been replaced with the blaring brightness of my new MacBook *yes*).

When I told my friends, it seemed to them as a weird holiday destination - some 'random' selection. GUYS, if you actually go to Honolulu, you'll see that it's 105% tourist and 0.00000003% locals. Do I really owe an explanation for my holiday choices? (well, my mum's aunt actually lives there and she's completely alone excluding her own fam so we decided to visit after 5 years of saying we would).

It was my first time going anyway close to the USA (does Hawaii count as the US?) so I was, of course, excited. I didn't really know what to expect since I was (and sometimes remain) an uncultured swine, but I knew it would be beautiful yet extremely touristy. And that's exactly how it was...